Christmas and Its Unexpected Gifts
by howtobeinconspicuous
Summary: Or  Christmas and Its Gifts That Really Weren't Surprising At All in James Potter's Humble But Entirely Correct Opinion    It's their final Christmas at Hogwarts, and Sirius and Remus decide to stay behind while Peter and James go back home.
1. Chapter 1

**Christmas and Its Unexpected Gifts**

Or

**Christmas and Its Gifts That Really Weren't Surprising At All in James Potter's Humble Opinion and Were Actually Really Fucking Predictable**

Chapter 1

Sirius was looking forward to his last Christmas at Hogwarts. James and Peter had decided to go home, and despite the fact that Sirius was living with James and his family now, he felt that it would be good for James to spend some time just with his family. It wasn't that he felt out of place, or like he was intruding at the Potter's - he felt more than welcome and at home there - he just wanted to give James some time with his family.

And if he was looking forward to spending time just with Remus, well, that was perfectly fine. And if his thoughts were straying more and more to him, then that was fine too.

_What isn't so fine is that you keep looking at him and not being able to tear your eyes away, and focusing on those freckles on his nose and the hairs above his lips and sometimes a little lower - _

Shut up/shut up/shut up/shut up.

He was doing that quite a lot lately - telling himself to shut up.

/

"You sure about this? You know that my parents would be glad to see you for Christmas and stuff." James smiled at Sirius, knowing he'd decline, but wanting to see what bullshit excuse he came up with this time to stay.

"No, really, it's cool. I kind of want to spend it here, you know? Last Christmas at Hogwarts."

James laughed, and punched him on the shoulder. "Shut up, you'll lose your reputation if you keep talking so nostalgically." Though since we both know that's a lie, I think you're safe.

Sirius snorted. "You'll lose yours if people find out that you even know the word nostalgic."

James rolled his eyes, but then his voice took a more serious tone. "But you're sure, yeah?"

"Yes you ponce, I'm sure. I really want to stay, now leave."

James smiled as Sirius' eyes flickered over to where Remus was saying goodbye to Peter. He was pretty sure he knew the reason Sirius was so inclined to miss out Christmas at the Potter's, and if his half-brained best friend didn't do something about it soon he was going to have to punch them both in their oblivious, though undoubtedly good looking, faces.

/

"Hey, have a good Christmas, yeah, Moony?"

"Sure Pete. You too. Say hi to your parents. Oh, and tell your dad thanks for the recommendation about that book on - "

"Remus, I'm sure what you've got to say is dreadfully important but the train is just about to leave so how about you just wish him a merry Christmas?"

Sirius and Remus were seeing the other two off at the station, and when the train finally pulled out, Remus was a little surprised to see Sirius looking at him with a big smile on his face.

"You all right, mate? You look a bit… happy?"

"Oh Moonikins, it's Christmas, aren't I allowed to be happy?"

With a bit of grumbling on Remus' behalf about being called "Moonikins" and much pointless laughter on Sirius' behalf, the two started heading back up the lane that would take them back to Hogwarts, Sirius throwing an arm around Remus' shoulders as they went.

And as they went, Sirius told himself that the nervous fluttering of warmth in his stomach was completely to do with the fact that it was coming up to Christmas, and nothing to do with the proximity between himself and the werewolf his arm was casually flung over.

/

Remus liked Christmas. He liked fires and he liked being inside and he liked reading. He really liked reading. Inside. In the warm. And the dry. And the peace and quiet.

Unfortunately, with Sirius around, he didn't get much peace and quiet. Sirius was a constant ball of energy. He always had to be doing something, always had to be entertained. And it seemed as if the job of entertaining had fallen upon Remus' shoulders. Still, he tried. He tried for some of that much desired Time Alone Reading. He wasn't often successful.

"Remus. Reemus. Remus. Remus listen to me, talk to me, please Remus please."

"Go away Sirius. I'm reading. I'm busy. Leave me alone."

"But I'm bored. _Bored_ Moony. Imagine how awful this must be for me."

"Yes yes, sounds awful, I pity you greatly. Now leave."

There was silence. It was too much to hope for, too good to be true if Sirius simply had done as Remus asked and left, but Remus hoped anyway. When one was friends with James and Sirius, one had to keep a positive outlook on life. It was that, or his sanity would have been broken the day the idiots he considered his friends tried to seduce Professor McGonagall with a variety of utterly inappropriate chat up lines. As it was, Remus had to consider therapy every once in a while when repressed memories of McGonagall's face upon being deemed a cock-tease resurfaced.

The silence was broken when a large, boy shaped, long limbed and artfully messy haired _thing_ launched into his lap.

Remus let out a huff of air and tried to ignore the stupid feeling in the pit of his stomach at the proximity of his friend.

_Yes Remus, your friend, your best friend. The one who you should really not be having Thoughts about late at night. Your friend, who really wouldn't appreciate the fact that you even have this thought process to quell such Thoughts._

Remus mentally shook himself. And attempted to shove the aforementioned lump on his lap onto the floor. Unfortunately, it appeared that said lump was expecting this move and threw both his arms around Remus' neck and hung on for dear life.

"Mooony. Moooony, stop being mean, stop trying to throw me off, all I want in life is to stay sitting in your lap. That, and world domination. But that's only so I can live a life of leisure, it's not for nefarious purposes or anything.

It's me in your lap, or we can go out into the snow for a walk on which I will mysteriously disappear and a handsome, rugged looking dog with suddenly appear for you to throw sticks for."

Sirius didn't quite want to think about the insistent hope that prayed that Remus would chose the first option. He was quite sure, however, that whatever the reason the insistent hope was there, it was a purely Platonic and Innocent feeling. Probably.

"Fine, fine, you oaf. We'll go out for a walk. Give me ten minutes, just to finish this chapter, and then I promise we'll go out for a walk, okay?"

Sirius quickly squashed his disappointment by jumping excitedly up and down on Remus' lap. And then was surprised to find himself being dumped unceremoniously on the floor. He recovered quickly, and paying heed to Remus' qualifications about giving him ten minutes (he knew Remus' serious tone when he heard it), ran up to the dormitory.

Remus let out a sigh and tried not to focus on how empty and cold his body felt when he had finally regained some shred of self-control and pushed his friend off his legs. _It was for the best_, he told himself sternly, _your legs would have gone dead otherwise_.

Note to self:

Find a new hiding place for chocolate. Sirius appears to have found the latest.

Reclaim some degree of self-respect and get over this ridiculous crush you appear to have developed on your best friend. But oh, think about his eyes when he was pleading with you to take him on a walk. And how close his face was, how easy it would have been just to –

_No! _Remus told himself sternly. It was exactly that kind of thinking that meant he was no closer to getting over the retched sod than he had been when this all started. 7 months ago.

_Oh dear god._ Remus thought. _This is just bloody pathetic. He's your fucking friend, you can't like him, you can't, it's not fair to him._

And yet. And yet, there had been times, recently, when - despite Sirius' constant hunger for anything that had promise of alleviating boredom – Sirius had been relatively content to just sit with Remus. And there had been a few times when Remus had glanced up from his book that Remus found Sirius looking at him with an unfathomable expression in his eyes, something soft, something gentle. Something Remus hadn't seen in the face of Sirius Black before. And it was those small occasions – and the Significant Look James gave Remus when the train was pulling out from Hogsmeade like he knew the inappropriate thoughts Remus had been thinking while eagerly anticipating spending Christmas with just Sirius – that made Remus think that maybe, just maybe, his feelings might not be entirely unreciprocated.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Moony. Moony, it's been ten minutes, it's been, they've been and happened and passed and gone so can we _go_ now? Please?"

Sirius came bounding into the room with full force, just as Remus was standing up to go and look for his friend. Remus sighed. Sometimes he wished he could have become friends with less… vibrant friends. But then the ever-positive attitude returned and he simply hoped for the day when the source of Sirius' energy was found and stopped. Oh did he ever hope for that day.

After much faffing and procrastination on Remus' behalf, the two ventured cautiously out into the cold, snow covered grounds of Hogwarts. Well, Remus ventured cautiously, wrapped up in more layers than anyone could ever believe possible. Sirius, on the other hand, paid no heed to such a small, unimportant factor like _weather_ and the fact that it was _minus eight_ and _snowing_. Remus did briefly toy with the idea of insisting Sirius wrap up warmer, but knew there wasn't much point as Sirius would be less Sirius-like and more Padfoot-like soon.

And, sure enough, there did appear to be a dog hurdling with a kind of energy that might remind one of a certain 7th year who took far too much pride in his hair. Not that he put any effort into it, or his appearance in general for that matter. It was more the fact that he didn't have to put any effort into his gracefully disheveled good looks that he took pride in.

And Remus barely had any time to prepare himself before the large, black, and already astoundingly soaked in melted snow dog had knocked him to the snow blanketed ground and began licking his face with unprecedented vigor.

So much for layers keeping him warm. He should have known that with Sirius around, he couldn't ever hope to remain warm and dry. But there was that damn optimism.

He laughed, loudly and freely, trying to push the dog off him. Succeeding in doing so, he jumped to his feet and started to run, but Padfoot was fast and bowled him over, resuming his attack on Remus' face. The dog was splayed over Remus' chest, his eyes earnest and joyful. And suddenly, Remus was hit with the fact that this dog was Sirius, and that Sirius was sitting on his chest, licking his face. Abruptly, he tried to pull his face away, attempting to keep his tone cheerful as he said,

"Oh get the fuck off me, you lump."

And suddenly it wasn't so much of a Sirius-the-dog is sitting on your chest Remus, oh my god what will you do. It was unexpectedly a much greater problem, because now it was Sirius-the-real-live-human-being-in-human-form-being-human-and-stuff. And that was Bad News.

Because Sirius-the-human-shaped-human was splayed over Remus, his face inches away.

Yeah. Bad News.

And there was his face, his perfect face, and his eyes – oh god his eyes – and –

Were they getting closer?

"Sirius, what the fuck are you doing? I told you to get off. I thought you wanted me to throw sticks for you?" Remus tried to keep his tone light and exasperated, but thought he might have failed a little at the end. The squeak that came through on the last word might have been just a little not cool.

It appeared to be fine though, because Sirius – oblivious as ever – didn't seem to notice. Instead, Sirius seemed to shake his head quickly, vigorously, and leapt up.

"Right, well like you said, I did want you to throw sticks. But then I had a more excellent idea."

And with grace and speed a gazelle would have been jealous of, Sirius proceeded to bend down, sweep some snow into a ball, and chuck it with surprising accuracy at Remus.

Which was obviously just not on, because, as Sirius knew, Remus did not like the snow. He was, however, very good at holding his own in snowball fights, and proceeded to demonstrate this point by returning Sirius' kind gesture. Only instead of the snow merely hitting Sirius as it did Remus, it smashed him in the face and dripped down his neck – and his back if his girlish shrieks were anything to go by. Though Sirius would deny ever shrieking.

/

Roughly half an hour later, Remus and Sirius returned inside to the warmth castle. Sirius was cold and stubbornly denying his defeat in their impromptu snow fight-turned-war. And soon, as was to be expected, he turned to blaming Remus for the bone chilling cold he felt.

"Remus this is your fault, I am freezing and it is your fault."

Remus let out an exasperated sigh, and muttered something that sounded distinctly like a plea for strength.

"Okay, yes, it was very much my fault, I begged you to tear my away from the comfort of the fire and the books, I begged you to knock me to the ground and get snow down my pants, up my shirt and in my ear, and then begged you to start a snowball fight with me. So Sirius, I am very sorry. I apologize profusely. But now, I am going to shower."

And with that, Remus stalked off with his head held high. And if he was smirking a little, then that was fine too.

/

One hot shower later, Remus emerged from the bathroom and searched through his trunk for some clothes. Upon finding some, he got dressed quickly, grabbed his book and went down to the common room to sit by the fire. There he found Sirius, still sitting in his soaking clothes, watching the fire burn. Which didn't seem like a Sirius-like thing to do at all. Unless he had known Remus would be coming down the stairs at about this point and had sat there watching the fire just for effect. Which _did_ seem like a Sirius-like thing to do.

"Padfoot? Sirius? Go shower, you must be freezing your balls off."

That seemed to shake Sirius out of his reverie, and he turned to Remus a raised an eyebrow.

"And everyone knows what a disaster that would be; what a loss to you it would be."

"Sod off, Sirius." Remus replied, rolling his eyes and curling up in his favourite armchair.

And with a smirk, Sirius got up and went to shower.

/

This was a bit better. Warmth, a good book –

Chocolate. He needed chocolate. But, dammit, it was upstairs. Remus sighed loudly, and got up, making his way to the dormitory.

Sirius didn't really know what was going on. He didn't know when Remus had gone from being his brilliant, bookish friend to being a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach that sometimes threatened to sink a bit lower. To being this fascinating person that he couldn't really take his eyes off.

_And there had been that moment, that moment outside and your control nearly lapsed and if he hadn't spoken you would have –_

_Would have what exactly?_

And then it hit Sirius like a ton of bricks.

"Shit. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit."

He liked Moony. He _liked_ Moony. And not just in a let's shag kind of way – although there was that, there most _definitely_ was that – but he liked Moony in an I-want-to-spend-time-with-you-even-if-it-just-means-watching-you-while-you-read-because-I-really-like-that-little-dimple-that-appears-in-your-cheek-when-you-read-something-amusing. He liked Moony in a jumpers and rain kind of way, and that was the only way he could describe it to himself. Remus was the only person he wanted to spend – _oh shit, this is serious_ – his life with. He wanted to spend rainy days with Remus curled up on the sofa, and wanted to go for walks on said rainy days and kiss Remus in the rain and _shit this was all so pathetic_. Sirius Black didn't do pathetic, gooey thoughts. Sirius Black was mooned over, was pined for, Sirius Black didn't participate in such juvenile activities. But here, it seemed to be, Sirius Black was in love. Or in danger of being so.

And all of a sudden, Sirius realized that actually, this really wasn't new at all, it had always been there. It had been there when James wanted to chat up girls to make Lily Evans jealous; it had been there when James wanted a wingman so he appeared to be over Lily Evans. It had been there when girls flirted with him and he couldn't help but feel no interest in them, and it was there when he'd only dated a few girls – none of them seriously – and all of them were slim and had hazel eyes. And Sirius understood that all this time he'd wanted to look at golden eyes, but nobody had golden eyes. No one except Remus.

And then Sirius realized that when he thought of Remus, he was home.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

One of the best feelings in the world, in Sirius Black's not so humble opinion, was having a hot shower after being absolutely frozen. And then wrapping up in a baggy, warm jumper that might not technically be yours and might actually belong to the guy you realized you're in love with.

And so it was with this intention in mind as Sirius stepped out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist and the intention to steal Moony's jumper.

"Shit!" aforementioned Moony exclaimed, dropping some of Honeydukes' finest on the ground between them and making a sound somewhere between a cough and a splutter.

Oh, well stealing Moony's jumper was out of the question as he was wearing it. And standing there. Right there. Just right in front of Sirius. Sirius, who was shirtless. And who Remus seemed to be staring at.

Intensely.

While standing in very close proximity. Very _very_ close proximity.

Sirius coughed. While Sirius was very much aware of his good looks, he was still a little awkward about Remus just standing there _staring_ like that.

With a start, Remus jerked and looked back up at Sirius' face. And let out a noise that sounded a little like a verbal keyboard smash. He followed it with –

"Right, sorry, yeah, I was just getting some uh chocolate –"

He looked around him bemusedly; wondering where said chocolate had disappeared to. After locating it on the floor by his feet, he bent down, his head dangerously close to Sirius crotch.

Sirius hissed in a breath.

For fuck's sake, he was only human, and Remus was just _there_ and he'd been _staring_ and then his head, and his crotch and the fucking proximity and –

Sirius let out a strangled noise and turned on his heel, half running back to the bathroom.

"Just need the, uh, toilet, I'll… yep, I'll see you downstairs, right, yeah, okay."

And with that half garbled sentence tossed over his shoulder to a stunned Remus who was still crouched on the floor, Sirius rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Shit. Shit. What even was that? Remus had seen Sirius shirtless before, when it was just seeing Sirius shirtless _and_ when it was _seeing Sirius shirtless_. And he'd always kept his cool, always managed to keep control over his libido. But for some reason, it was different. It was different this time, and he couldn't help himself from looking, not when Sirius was right there, standing right in front of him with nothing but a fucking towel and – _dammit_.

Remus was in deep shit.

Sirius had _run away _from him. Remus had creeped him out that much! It was all because of the stupid fucking chocolate. Why did he have to lose control of his motor functions just because he saw Sirius Black half naked? It wasn't like he was even that attractive. Yeah, okay, it was. But still.

And then he decided to pick up the stupid chocolate and then his head and Sirius' crotch and _the fucking proximity_.

Sometimes life just didn't seem fair.

Sirius was hard.

This was a little awkward because this was due to Remus. Now, in hindsight, Sirius was pretty sure that quite a lot of the time the werewolf had been somewhat on his mind while he wanked. However, that was before Sirius had actually acknowledged the fact that he actually liked Remus in an I-would-like-to-see-you-naked-and-in-my-bed kind of way. Even though he would have probably been rather delighted to see Remus naked and in his bed. Or in Remus' bed, that would probably be cleaner.

Sirius seemed to have a problem with his internal monologue.

But… well… Remus had gone downstairs. Sirius had heard him leave, shutting the door rather forcefully behind him as he did so.

It wasn't like Remus could hear him, was it? He wouldn't ever know.

He felt a little guilty, but it was those eyes, those stupid, golden eyes as they roamed over his body. It was the look in those eyes, almost… hungry? Sirius liked to think he was realistic, but the look in Remus' eyes gave him hope. So it was this that Sirius justified his conscience with as he came, admitting finally to himself that it was Remus he wanted, more than any blue-eyed, blonde, waifish girl. More than anyone really.

/

Sirius sidled into the room, wearing… was that one of Sirius' _own_ jumpers? Sirius didn't wear his own jumpers. He either didn't wear jumpers at all, or stole Remus's.

_Oh dear god it's because he feels awkward around me. He saw me staring, and now he feels awkward to the degree that he's wearing his own jumper and shuffling into the room. SHUFFLING. SIRIUS DOES NOT SHUFFLE. Oh dear god Remus, what have you done? You've broken him, and all because you couldn't stop your creepy, stalkerish staring._

Sirius continued to slink awkwardly into the room, while a series of emotions flickered over Remus' face.

Sirius started panicking at the alarm he saw in Remus' eyes.

_Oh shit, he knows, he knows I was wanking in the bathroom and he knows it was over him oh my god I'm such a horrible friend, he trusts me and I just oh holy shit holy buggering shit bloody fucking hell._

Sirius' thoughts were quickly degenerating into a constant stream of profanities. This not-so-coherent internal dialogue was showing on his face. When Sirius Black had an internal meltdown, his face reflected the havoc within. It contorted into a series of expressions, none of which should have technically been humanly possible but all seemed to attempt to manifest on his face at once. Which, miraculously, seemed to break the tension.

Remus snorted. Loudly. "Sirius, what the fuck are you doing?" He laughed, completely forgetting the internal break down _he_ had been having just moments before in the hysteria he suddenly felt due to Sirius' slightly constipated expression.

Remus' laugh seemed to shock Sirius out of his face-contortion, and some of the awkwardness and stress seemed to drop off his shoulders. He strolled over to the sofa where Remus was curled up, and flopped across the whole length of the sofa, legs draped dramatically over Remus, arms folded above his head.

Remus sobered up at the sight of Sirius' legs over him. He cleared his throat.

"About earlier, I didn't mean, I mean, it wasn't like –"

Sirius looked mortified.

"Wait no, I mean, you didn't, I wasn't trying to be creepy, I just –"

"You weren't trying to be creepy? What?"

And suddenly Remus realized, Sirius wasn't acting weird because he felt awkward that Remus had been staring, he was acting weird because… shit. Sirius liked him.

Sirius was still talking, Remus didn't really know what about but he knew that he should probably shut up. So Remus did what any sane guy would do in that situation. He leaned forward and grabbed Sirius' face between his hands, and kissed him.

Sirius let out a strangled noise. Remus let go of his face like he'd been burned.

"Oh god, that was me misinterpreting it, wasn't it? Shit, I'm sorry. I just thought, maybe, you might like me, so. Bollocks, oh fuck –"

Sirius grinned. "Shut up you wanker and kiss me again. Obviously you'd be the one to figure it all out literally right after I had, but then I've never been particularly fast on the uptake when it comes to these things, right?"

Remus made a noise that sounded a little like someone gargling.

"You, wait? I was right? You actually do like me?"

"Yes, you idiot. I guess I always kind of have?"

Remus smiled, and pulled Sirius towards him for another kiss.

Yeah, Remus definitely liked Christmas.


	4. Chapter 4

Epilogue

They did not live happily ever after. Theirs was a tale of broken hearts and lost smiles. They argued – a lot. They clashed; Sirius was loudly fierce and passionate, Remus was quietly strong and stubborn. They were not perfect together and did not live a fairytale life, but they loved each other fiercely. Even when Sirius was gone and Remus was alone again, lost in a world without his closest friends, suddenly distrustful of everything he'd ever believed in, even then did Remus love Sirius. Despite his best attempt to hate the man who seemed the very personification of rainy kisses covered in mud and of fire and warmth, he could never stop loving him. Sirius Black was his downfall, his lifeline, his heart.

And Sirius did not go a day without thinking of his Moony, of his warm, brown Remus. Remus was everywhere, and even when each day merged into the next and the dementors tore at his soul, at his happiness, Sirius held onto those memories. He never let go of the man who was his everything.

And when the days were the darkest, and his life seemed an endless pit of devastation, and not even the thought of finding Peter and having justice could keep the demons at bay, Sirius replayed every smile, every kiss, every look and touch and sleepy morning imbedded with the smell of sweat and sex and love.

He remembered the day after they'd first got together. Remus had been shy, scared that Sirius would change his mind, or that it had been an elaborate joke. Sirius was over-loud and joked around too much, before saying "sod this, we don't need to be such awkward bastards" and telling Remus in no uncertain terms that he was a stupid, over-thinking git and that he wanted him exactly as he was, scars and all.

He remembered the day that James and Peter had come back from the Christmas holidays and that, upon seeing them, James had just _known_ and roared "about time you lousy twats, I was contemplating interfering and making you oblivious idiots realize that you're quite obviously madly and grossly crazy about each other" before running full hilt at them both and tackling them in an overenthusiastic, slightly awkward hug. Peter just smiled and told them that they were fucking stupid for taking so long. Then he turned to James and handed over a couple of galleons.

"The fuck's that about?" Sirius inquired.

"James bet by the time we got back, I bet by the January exams. Obviously James was correct."

"You guys _bet_ on me and Moony getting together?"

James smirked. "Of course we did, you stupid sods. You guys have been walking around each other oblivious to each other's lust filled stares when the other wasn't looking. Me and Wormy have been making bets since the end of fifth year."

Later James had taken Sirius aside and they'd talked. It was awkward and uncomfortable. James asked Sirius why the fuck he'd taken so long and whether he had any intentions of blowing it all completely and leaving Remus. James was aware that Remus had figured out his feelings for Sirius much sooner than Sirius had for Remus, and was worried that Sirius wouldn't see that they were brilliant together until he'd run away.

But his fears were quickly stopped in their tracks as soon as Sirius opened his mouth and started talking about Remus. It wasn't eloquent, what he said, and it was hesitant and awkward but his face lit up, and you could see from his eyes that his soul was doing a little happy dance, and his voice broke over the words "I reckon I love him". So James just laughed a little to himself and told Sirius that he was bloody proud of him.

Sirius remembered the time they first had sex, and the morning after. He remembered waking up to the smell of Remus around him and opening his eyes to see a head of messy golden-brown hair. He remembered thinking that he wanted that, every single day of forever. And he remembered thinking that even if he couldn't have Remus forever, he'd have every single day Remus would give him before he realized that Sirius was actually kind of a git and left.

But he never left.

Their world just kind of fell apart.


End file.
